I never dreamt that I would be a stay-at-home mom. I’ve always been the type that wants to work. Little did I know, being a stay-at-home parent is a lot of work. This was quite contradictory to all of the common misconceptions of stay-at-home parents that I heard. I made a list of these to end the myths!
1. We don’t do anything all day.
“What do you do all day?” is the most [common] offensive question you may hear a lot as a stay-at-home parent. Our job is all hands on deck. While it may not always be crazy or busy, we still have a lot going on most of the time.
2. We are lazy
To snowball off the first point, just because we are stay-at-home parents, does not mean we don’t have drive. It doesn’t mean that we are sitting around on our a$$ all day or shopping all day with our nannies and maids doing everything for us. This isn’t the Real Housewives (Ps. that show is exactly that, a SHOW). We don’t “live off the government”. But, if you still think we’re lazy, well then our “laziness” is saving us money.
3. Our significant others make a lot of money.
Most think that it’s a luxury for parents to stay at home, when in fact it can be out of necessity. Paying for childcare is expensive, especially if you have more than one child. The key is thinking about the cost of childcare versus the amount the stay-at-home parent makes working. If the parent makes $15/hour and childcare is $15/hour, then the parent is working to have someone else watch their child. While some people like to be employed to get out of the house or work for benefits, that doesn’t always make sense in other households.
4. We don’t care about a career.
We live in a career-oriented world. Just because we left our career to be a full time parent, doesn’t mean we don’t care about having a career. Sometimes stay-at-home parents go back to work once their kids are off to school. Our careers may be temporarily paused, we may plan to go back to work one day or maybe we like being a parent more than the career we had before.
5. We don’t need breaks.
While staying at home with your kids can be fun, it’s also exhausting. I love my kids and spending time with them more than anything, but I also need “me” time. After taking care of other humans all day, we need to get a break, too. It’s a long day trying to take care of the house, bills, and making sure the kiddos survive!
6. We can’t/don’t bring in a source of income.
There are a lot of stay-at-home parents that look for any and every way to make money from home. Whether it’s utilizing cash back mobile apps, teaching children in other countries English via video chat, advertising or blogging, they’re doing it. And, if it’s only $5 they’re bringing in a week, that is a source of income, and it’s $5 more than they had before!
7. Stay at home parents are always female.
SAHM. “Stay-at-home-mom”. We literally have our own acronym. But, stay-at-home dads are a thing. While it may not be as common or considered as “socially acceptable”, they do exist, and they can do just as great of a job as a female. They deserve credit, too! The photo may quote 2014, but just think about how much more they’re worth now that cost-of-living has gone up!
What common misconceptions have you heard as a stay-at-home parent?
Thank you for mentioning Stay at home Dads! I have a SATD friend who definitely deserves that recognition as much as a SAHM. On the other hand, I know a person that is bad at being a mother to her child in general, so not all deserve that much praise. Some make it harder for themself and children then it needs to be!
While I am sure there are some stay at home parents who really don’t do much I dislike this stereotype because its not the general truth. Especially if the kids are in the home most of the day. Even when they aren’t there are tons of stay at home parents or even childless spouses who do a hell of a lot of work. I actually think it’s nice because it means that neither spouse *has* to overwork by working out of the house AND inside of it. One spouse can work all day and make money, the other one can do the cooking, cleaning, scheduling, finances, etc. and BOTH get more time to enjoy life. I know it doesn’t always work out that way, but when it does that is something to be proud of. It’s just about priorities. Some people prioritize their careers, others prioritize making memories. just one way to look at it
I am a stay at home Dad. My wife had addictive personality disorder, and she drank while pregnant with our second daughter. We put her into rehab until she was almost to term, but when she came out she started drinking again. I brought her to the hospital and refused to bring her home until the baby was born. I pressed child neglect charges to keep her there. I brought my second daughter home when she was four days old, two weeks premature and suffering from alcohol withdrawal. I have raised her and my other daughter who was seven at the time by myself ever since.
I work about 50 hours a week from home and make just shy of six figures. Prior to our crisis, I ran my own business from home my youngest daughter is now 8, and mynoldest is sixteen. I homeschool both girls.
Neeedless to say, I stay busy. Thanks for giving us Dads a shout out!
Wayne
PS my youngest daughter writes on our blog page two to thre times a week as part of her home schooling. My oldest daughter and I also write when we can. Maddie is taking college courses now as part of her high school education through VLACs so I have lifted her daily writing requirement. Check out the older posts to see her work. I wrote regularly on the blog up until 2016, when there was an illness in the family. http://Www.mountainrants.weebly.com
These are SO true. I remember dealing with these thoughts when I was at home with children. It’s a lot of work! 🙂
I am a stay-at-home parent and sometimes, hearing words from people who stereotype makes me so tired.. It’s kinda hard to deal with them.
This is so true but in reality stay home mom is super busy. All those stereotype really making me upset but hey, we can’t control what other think and see us. Glad that you share this post to educate these bunch of people.
I know that stay-at-home parents are always busy, so I don’t believe any of these common misconceptions. My mum was at home for the full 18 years during my childhood! x
I am writing a book on stay at home moms. This is such a useful article 💖 i get good perspective here.
I think I have come across all of these misconceptions in my life. I’d love a world where we just didnt judge anyone!
This is so right! True, I do have lazy days, but it doesn’t mean I don’t still get a ton of stuff done on those days! I tell people who ask about my ‘career’ that being a SAHM has always been my dream job. I’m lucky enough to get to do my dream job right now so you bet I’m going to make the most of it!
One of my friends is a Stay Home Dad by choice and I agree that they have to a lot of work. They don’t even get a single holiday or leave from work! Hats of to those parents for making a difference in their kids lives and sacrificing their careers!
My hubby and I both work and run our businesses out of our homes. We do so because of choice and it works well for our family. More Thant he financial worthy to our family health, we look at the real bottom line – cultivating a mindful, loving family dynamic. Thanks for raising awareness about SAHDs – You are amazing people! xo Evelyn, PathofPresence.com
Being a stay at home parent has always been judged by others. I think it’s great that you’re posting about this. It’s important that people understand the kind of work that stay at home parents deal with.
I’ve had a career and left it to be a stay at home mom. My first year as a mum I studied and my second year I got my MA in Language and communication (in a foreign country, in a foreign language), all while taking care of my child, breastfeeding and taking care of house hold. In my third year as a mum, I had a second child and got serious about blogging, and started earning a modest income, while doing all the rest. Yeah, lazy my a$$…
This is such a realistic post, I agree, stay at home mom is super busy, even more busier than someone going for a job, I know it is not just one thing you have to concentrate like at work but at home, you have to concentrate on kids, home, cooking, cleaning.
Its rare to see such a great article on this subject. Wonderful writing!
I don’t know how many times I’ve encountered people who asked me what do you do all day. What don’t I do? Being a SAHM is more than some people will ever know .
Its rare to see such a great article on this subject. Wonderful writing! You know so many people overlook the importance and hard work of stay at home mom and yet don’t really understand how much hard work and energy it takes…and yet you hold the entire house hold together.