Today, Tyler and I are celebrating one whole year of being married!
Dating, marriage, and kids, in general, aren’t easy. Even liking the person you love isn’t easy, sometimes. That is O.K.! I’ll be honest, marriage has it’s ups and downs. The first year of marriage is notorious for it’s difficulties. “Why?” You may ask. Wedding planning is challenging, and frustrating. Once the wedding planning is over-with, life may become “boring”. Sharing a space with someone that you plan to be with for the rest of your life is challenging, and is frustrating at times. Some people have never lived with the person they married, and adjusting to their living habits can be frustrating and challenging.
The first year of marriage, is fun and exciting, as well, but it does take work. Here are the top 5 tips I have for your first year of marriage!
1. Say thank you
Gratitude goes a long way! Have you ever said thank you to someone, and have had them radiate? Gratitude not only makes others feel better, but it also makes you feel better. There are so many benefits to gratitude (read this article from Forbes, written by Amy Morin, LCSW, psychotherapist and author), and it’s the best way to feel positive. There have even been studies on how gratitude helps relationships, and your health! Try to say thank you at least once a day, and see how positive you feel!
2. Go on adventures
Single or dating isn’t the only time you are allowed to have fun. Last year was the most Tyler and I traveled together, and it was great getting that time with my partner exploring the world. We have memories now that I will always cherish. Scientifically, taking risks or trying something new is actually supposed to trigger the release of dopamine (Yay for rewards and reinforcements!).
3. Don’t sweat the small stuff
I know this is hard to do. I’m so guilty of letting the small things make my blood boil (like when Tyler shaves his face and leaves the hair on the counter top), but you have to realize you aren’t perfect, too. I’m sure there are things you do that annoy your spouse. And, don’t do tit for tat, because neither of you will win.
4. Have meaningful conversations
It’s really easy to get caught up talking about work, grocery lists or your kids, or to be interrupted a hundred times, if you have children. It’s important to have intellectual conversations. One night, instead of watching TV, have a conversation, and make it meaningful. Talk about somewhere you would like to go, something you would like to try or talk about something that interests you.
Ever heard the expression, “Laughing is good for the soul”? Well, it is. There have been many studies that talk about how laughter creates a more positive relationship, and happier couples tend to laugh more together. Laughing is a great release for a lot of things, see my post about mom burnout, where I talk about how laughing moderates feelings.
Let me know how this advice worked for you and what advice you would give to others who are in their first year of marriage! Also, enjoy a sneak peek of our wedding video!
“I hope you both look back on this day as the day you loved each other the least”- My best friend, Samantha (Matron-of-Honor wedding speech)